Dishonesty in relationships and how to deal with it [advice for men]
We from best-matchmaking keep talking about various relationships and dating problems.
And this time, we would love to cover one of the most important topics ever – dishonesty in relationships.
Even though all people strive to have trust and loyalty in their lives, dishonesty still happens.
Dishonesty is destructive for any relationship and knowing how to deal with it is crucial. In this post, you will find out how lying affects your relationship and what are the main reasons for dishonesty. You will also learn how to spot a dishonest person in a relationship.
What lying does to a relationship?
First of all, we would love to tell you that you should not think that you will never face that problem because you are honest and your partner will also never dare to lie to you.
Anyone can face this issue, even the most loving and caring partners.
So your relationship can also be susceptible to dishonesty. The reasons for dishonesty can be really different and if your partner lied, you should not despair at once.
Just think that she or he could have the reasons for that and try to understand these reasons before destroying everything.
Yes, dishonesty is destructive and can tear you both apart. Dealing with it is not that easy but still, possible. Do not hurry to end your relationships up if you have found out that your partner lied to you. Try to collaborate with your partner and you might save your relationships.
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What does dishonesty cause?
Frankly speaking, we do not know any cases when dishonesty would lead to something good or positive. As a rule, lies lead to more lies. Even if you forgave each other and decided to keep your relationships going, your relationship won’t be the same anymore.
There simply won’t be more trust and this is a huge problem for partners. All loving relationships should be built on trust. When trust is destroyed, you both won’t get any joy from that relationship. It will be full of suspicions and arguments.
Moreover, when your partner lied to you in your previous relationships, you will not be able to trust anyone in the future. Because of that, all of your next relationships will break up, too. You won’t trust your partner, you will suspect her, and you will make her suffer.
So if you face dishonesty, you should solve the problems at once. There is no need and no reason to transfer your inner emotions and suspicions to your new relationship.
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What 3 things show your dishonesty?
Let’s look at dishonesty closer. There are things that show your dishonesty even if you think you will never be caught.
But these things are obvious and only a blind person won’t notice them. First of all, a liar behaves differently than usual. When he or she is asked a direct question, he gets irritated.
Trying to lean away from answers is the sign a person is dishonest. Secondly, people who always say they never lie are liars and this is a proven fact.
Those who all the time scream about being honest are dishonest, even though it sounds like a paradox.
Moreover, dishonest people accuse others of lies all the time. People who used to lie suspect others in being dishonest more often than honest people. So these three things most likely will show a person is dishonest. Spotting a liar in relationships might be harder, so let’s do it.
How do you spot a liar in a relationship?
There should be no place for lies in your relationships but regardless that, lie is often a part of a relationship. It is sad but the truth. Spotting a liar in relationships is not that easy because when you are in love and used to trust your partner, you do not want to notice obvious things.
Trust is the basis of any relationship. And losing it is one of the worst things for your relationships. Sometimes, people are blind and do not want to believe their partner could be dishonest with them. But it is necessary to be aware of how to spot a liar.
By no means, we recommend being suspicious towards your partner. But if you already had some assumptions before and have doubts, you should know how to check whether your partner is lying to you. And below, you will find out what signs show your partner is dishonest with you.
Your partner’s behavior changed
We bet you know your partner well. And you know how he or she behaves normally. Once his or her behavior deviates from his usual one, you should question why.
As a rule, this person is under stress. This stress may be caused by him or her lying.
You should pay attention to whether your partner is acting more distant or changes your common plans more often.
You should also be a bit cautious when your partner is overloading you with affection lately. If this seems odd, you should wonder why your partner is doing it.
Maybe he or she feels guilty for her dishonesty and tries to make it up to you. Any changes in her/his behavior should make you think that something might have changed and that your partner is hiding something from you. But keep in mind your partner might simply have stress due to work or something else and just doesn’t want to burden you.
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Your partner doesn’t let you see her phone or social media pages
No, no one likes to be controlled and there is no need to check your partner’s phone at all. Usually, when you are doing it, it is not pleasant for your partner and it is normal. But if she has nothing to hide from you, she won’t mind if you take her phone to call someone or just use her mobile browser for your needs.
But once her reaction is not usual about it and it irritates her, or she just grabs the phone out of your hands, it should concern you. Moreover, if your partner has set up a password on her phone, it is a very warning sign. Of course, you could overwhelm her with your control and abuse her permission to check the phone.
But if this is not the case, then you should ask yourself what she is hiding from you. You probably check her social media and if her posts contradict with what she’s telling you, then she probably is lying too.
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She avoids eye-contact and leans away from you
Scientists have already revealed the signs of liars a long time ago. When people are open with one another, they do not avoid making eye contact. But when she does, it may signalize she is hiding something from you.
We do not mind if this is her peculiarity and personal manner of behavior. Some people do not like making eye-contacts at all and it is not connected with dishonesty.
But if your partner usually is ok with that but now, avoids looking into your eyes when talking, this is a red flag.
Psychologists agree that when a person is leaning away from you, she is avoiding talking seriously meaning that she is hiding something from you. She is creating her psychological distance this way.
Other people tell you that your partner is lying
It is hard to believe your partner is lying to you. And you do not want to listen to those people who say something is wrong in your relationships and this is right. Not everyone wishes you all the best and can simply destroy your relationships.
But you should keep in mind one thing. If a lot of people tell you that they have seen your partner with another man, you should be concerned. It may have some sense and you should simply check this information.
It is not very pleasant and we realize that. But if you hear this information from different people, you should pay attention to it at least and try to understand whether this is true or not. It would be good if this would be not true, but this is the information to think about.
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How to deal with dishonesty in relationships
Yes, dishonesty is bad and it can be really destructive but it is not a tragedy yet. People have their reasons to lie and if your partner is dear to you, you should not break your relationships at once but try to understand what the reason was. Of course, lies can also be different.
For example, there exists a so-called white lie when a person lies about something to protect you from bad or negative emotions and it has nothing to do with betrayal or dishonesty. Yes, such a lie is not pleasant, too, but it was applied for your sake. Another case is when someone is cheating.
If you see the behavior of your partner has changed, you should try and talk to your partner, find out what makes her do that and discuss it. But if your partner is cheating, this is a serious problem, and you should think well whether you are ready to continue relationships with her.
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Conclusion: Honesty is the best policy for your relationships!
No matter what problems arise in your relationships, you should know that the best way to lead it is honesty.
Try not to hide anything from your partner and always discuss all the problems. Discussion and collaboration is the best way to have relationships.
If you want to know more about dating and relationships, get in touch with us from best-matchmaking and check our online dating membership and International matchmaking plans at reasonable prices for your future success.
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Written by Katrina El, a practicing psychologist, professional matchmaker and founder of the Slavic marriage agency Best-Matchmaking.com.
Learn more about the matchmaking service by Best-Matchmaking.com