How many dates should you have before sex?

Dates & sexHello guys!

We from best-matchmaking keep talking about dating and relationships and this time, we would love to talk about sex and dating.

The pair of these words is very complicated and confuses lots of people. We all remember times when sex almost never preceded a marriage. 

But times change, let alone people. The relationship doesn’t work that way anymore.

Having sex when being in relationships is absolutely legit and natural. But the question is whether there is a perfect time for this? Let us try to find it out how many dates before sex you should have.  

How many dates should you wait before you sleep together?

Sex with Russian womenYes, we live in the era of changing multiple partners and various hookup apps, however, according to a recent study, couples should wait until the eight-date before having intimate relationships if they want to succeed. We know that there was a three-date rule previously. 

However, according to the same study, two thousand adults consider it to be outdated. On average, people are willing to wait until date eight and this is their perfect time for moving to the bedroom. There are different studies though.

Thus, the study by Groupon showed that men feel comfortable having sex at any point starting from the fifth date. At the same time, women would rather wait until the ninth date. Moreover, 9% of men who participated in a survey think that it’s ok to sleep on the first date while only 1% of women would accept sex within the first three dates. 

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What is the three-date rule?

You probably have heard about the 3-date rule. It says that both parties should not have sex until their third date. It was created for those people who worry about doing something wrong or being abandoned as not a suitable partner. However, the rule was created more for ladies rather than gentlemen.

It is a sort of status in dating culture for women. Thus, men who do not follow that rule are simply considered playboys while women would be considered fallen ones in society. Different magazines wrote about the three-date rule, for example, Glamour and Cosmopolitan. They encouraged women to stick to that rule.

But, as you could notice previously, modern people (both men and women) neglect the 3-date rule and consider at least the 8th date the best time for moving to the bedroom. Let’s not forget that each couple is very individual and for you and your girlfriend, everything can be different.

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What is the five-date rule?

Dating Ukrainian womenOnce again, the rule was created by and for women. The 5-date rule supposes a woman not to have sex until at least the fifth date. Keep in mind that along with the fifth date, women usually are waiting for 15 texts, 20 calls, three movie nights, two gifts, etc.

It means that every woman has her own rules she selected for herself. Yes, five dates seem enough to have sex after them. But three, 10, 20 dates also seems enough. For you, six-month dating might be enough, too. 

So as you can see, these 3-5 date rules were created just to exist. But let’s not forget that all men and all women are different and what is good for one person isn’t appropriate for another one. You just should understand there are no rules in relationships and you should choose the best for you and your partner.

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How soon should you have sex: What is the 10 date rule?

The 10-date rule is really genius. It supposes both partners to get to know each other better before going intimate or too emotionally entangled. No, do not think that you have to wait for 10 dates until having sex with each other. This rule is different from the two previous ones.

It means that you should simply wait for some time before going intimate sexually with your partner. And it supposes not only sexual relationships but also all types of commitment. According to this rule, you should understand how much to invest in your relationship.

Do not invest much until you find out how genuine, sincere, trustworthy, reliable, and mature your potential partner is. The core of this rule is to keep things casual. On this stage, you should not expect anything but simply be curious. Simply read your potential partner before opening yourself. 

This rule doesn’t forbid you to cuddle, kiss, hug, etc., but it simply asks to refrain from sexual relationships. 

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What relationships should you have on your first date?

Romance vs datingThe first date is a sacred period for both people. It is just the start of your potential relationship and of course, nothing special should happen on it. So not only bedroom things happen more slowly, not at all. On the first date, everything is slow.

So do not have your high hopes for a kiss on the first date even. According to statistics, only 17% of couples kiss on their first date if everything went perfectly.

The rest of the people wait until date two. 39% of people would think of it and everything depends on how the day has gone.

And as many as 45% of people say that they never or rarely kiss on their first date regardless of how the date has gone. The same statistics say that men are more eager to kiss on the first date. Also, younger people are more likely to kiss on their first date. 

Some more interesting statistics

Even when it comes to first kisses, only 3% of ladies may consider initiating it. So the rest and it is as much as 97% of ladies want you to initiate the first kiss. There are some more interesting statistics. 10% of people have ended their dates because of the poor choice of the restaurant by their partner.

Moreover, 32% of people have used their acting skills to end their date up. One-third of people who participated in the survey have confessed that they had had an awkward date when their potential partner had been eating off their plate, drinking from their glass, or telling them what to order.

Can you imagine now why people sometimes escape their dates pretending to go to the bathroom? By the way, if your first date was successful, the best way is to wait three days before asking for the second one. Millennials usually do it within 48 hours. 

Do as you feel 

dating coupleGoing to the intimate level is up to every couple. You never know how things go. It might happen that you both will have incredible passion and everything will be right after your first date. But it may also happen that you both need some more time to get to know each other.

The situations are very different. For example, you could know each other for some time before deciding to go on a date. It often happens between friends. It means that you already know each other pretty well, so you are both ok with having sex sooner.

But imagine you have invited an unknown lady for the first date. You are no one to each other – just two unknown people. So, of course, you both will need time to realize whether you like each other or not. In this case, it is good to wait some time before taking your relationships to the bedroom level. 

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It is important to know how to pace things

Knowing how to pace everything is crucial. The courting process is also important, and a lot depends on how you managed to conquer her heart. Women are still very romantic and they believe you need to conquer them and initiate everything.

Keep in mind that there are so-called casual daters who date several people at a time and you can be just one of those people she is dating at the moment. 30% of people have a backup person in mind in case nothing works out with you. So it is really important to be sure of who you are dating.

Take your time and get to know your lady well before taking everything to the next level. It will help you avoid disappointments. Do not pursue intimacy only but some romance and feelings. It is human nature to look for our soulmates. Build a real connection with your girlfriend first.

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  • Natalia

    41 y.o, Kiev, Ukraine

Conclusion: Choose the perfect time for you!

dating definitionWe hope that these statistics and information will help you understand how many dates you should have before having sex with your woman.

Please remember it is a very individual thing and no one is the same. You and your woman should choose your special time and set up your own timeframes.

Please do not hesitate to get in touch with us from best-matchmaking if you want to know more about Slavic women or International matchmaking.

Check out our gallery of beautiful foreign women and online dating membership plans at reasonable prices. Your special woman might be already waiting for you somewhere in another part of the world.

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Best Matchmaking

Written by Katrina El, a practicing psychologist, professional matchmaker and founder of the Slavic marriage agency

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